Dear Next Door Neighbor,

Let me just get right to the point: It's time for y'all to break up. The screaming matches are endless, and it's scares me when you throw your fist or other heavy objects against the wall we share. Today, you screamed for her to "shut up and f*ckin leave," but she didnt. How come? It's painful to hear you argue at all times of the day and night, and it's really hard to go back to sleep when you hit exclamatory fists against my wall.

Please just break up and make both of our lives a little more peaceful.

Your Neighbor,
KirstieLou

ps. may I borrow a cup of sugar?